What a blessing friends are. How it hurts when they leave.
As a Christian and also an autistic person, it's difficult to make and keep friends. I have made some friends throughout the years, but now all have stopped talking with me completely.
When I was part of the REALbasic community, back before it became Xojo, I somehow made friends with a few guys. All but one eventually stopped talking to me because I would frequently share my faith with them. One guy stuck with me because he too is a Christian, and our friendship lasted more than a decade. Unfortunately (for me), his life changed drastically, he moved away and didn't have time to converse daily.
Non-believers tire of hearing about God, Jesus and faith
It's sad and painful, but non-believers often don't like to be reminded that they aren't in a
relationship with the one true God. Maybe it's because they are living a sinful lifestyle, maybe
because they had 'church hurt' in the past or whatever. I know before I gave my heart to Jesus, I
would shy away from people who talked about him too much. Maybe I'm just a ineffective witness or maybe
I just don't know how to communicate well?
I'm annoying, I guess?
The one friend who stuck with me for more than a decade was very patient, very loving and cared very
much for me as well as my family. Even with all of that, he still was a human being, and I guess I
burned him out? It's very difficult for me to 'read in-between the lines' so I frequently have to ask
others if I've upset them, if I'm bothering them or if they're mad. I'm sorry, it's just the general
lack of being able to pick up on verbal and physical cues. What life has taught me is that people say
one thing, but often don't actually mean it, so it's hard to take people's words at face
value.
When my last friend finally left the area, moved clear across the country and started a new job and new life, he just didn't have time to talk anymore. That, or he was finally happy to be rid of me and my irritating mannerisms. Only God knows for sure. At any rate, it was hard not having him to talk to every day. We would use a chat service to discuss the issues of the day, the challenges we both faced and traded tech news and experiences. He would give me tips on solving certain tech issues and I would help him every once in a while (he is so much more knowledgeable than me on a wide variety of subjects, so he rarely needed my help).
It's painful when they leave
I guess, after a while, people get used to having their friend to talk to every day. You may develop a
type of dependence on them. If they aren't there for a while, or they leave for good, it's like losing
a loved-one. Someone close to you is now gone -- out of your life for good. Yes, it's stings, and
it's sad and frustrating.
I guess being Christian and autistic is a recipe for worldly loneliness, although I am never truly alone when God is always by my side. But yes, God does give us other people in this world for companionship, and when they leave, a little piece of you leaves with them, especially when they are Christian and work in the same field that you do.
Do I hold anything against these friends that left? No. If I do deep down, I need to resolve that, because holding anything against another person is like a cancer that spreads and eventually kills. And maybe God is using this 'friendless' time to prepare me for something in the future -- who knows? I have seen that God will often use our past challenges to equip us so we can give support and encouragement to others who are going through similar things.
If you have friends, make sure you treat them right, treasure them and be as giving with your time and attention as they are with you and even more, if you can. If that last friend of mine is reading this now... thank you so much for all of the years of friendship, help and encouragement. I pray you have someone who provides the same for you too.
God bless you, and thank you for reading!
About me
First and foremost I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. After that, I'm a blessed husband, father and
grandfather. I do remote computer work for a living although it's mostly part-time. I'm an amateur
radio operator - AF7EC. When I'm not working on the endless list of house and car projects, I like to
tinker with electronics, like to listen to shortwave radio and write software (mostly open-source) in
C, C++ and Python. I usually bounce around between macOS, Linux and Windows for support and
development work. Overall, I am a big nobody, but always willing to share about Jesus and all that
God has done for me and my family.
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